How It Develops​

A secure attachment style develops when a child receives consistent support and love from their caregivers. When children feel that their emotions and needs are met and validated, they learn that vulnerability and emotional connection are safe and rewarding, allowing them to believe it's okay to rely on others and form healthy, secure relationships.​

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Common Childhood Experiences

• Caregivers consistently responded to feelings with comfort and validation, attuning to the child's needs.

• Caregivers modeled healthy communication, especially during conflict and conflict resolution, allowing the child to appropriately express their needs and boundaries, as well as navigate through conflicts.

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While childhood experiences shape attachment styles, it’s possible for someone to develop a secure attachment style later in life by transforming their current attachment style through self-awareness, reflection, and behavioral changes.

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Behaviors in Relationships

Secure individuals usually show up in relationships with the ability to:

• Co-regulate and process emotions effectively.

• Give and receive emotional support without being overwhelmed

• Be less triggered due to situational beliefs rather than deep core wounds

• Be generous and give without crossing their boundary and over-extending

• Maintain interdependence - a healthy balance between independence and connection.

• Share needs, emotions, and vulnerabilities comfortably and proactively.

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When you have a secure attachment, you'll generally feel relaxed and confident in your relationships. You're able to express your thoughts and feelings openly, embracing your vulnerabilities. You also have a healthy sense of self-worth, knowing that you are worthy of love and care.

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How Secure Attachment Benefits Relationships

Secure individuals in relationships are able to connect deeply, communicate effectively, and navigate challenges with confidence.

• Comfort & ease in relationships

• Effective communication

• Positive self-image

• Healthy connection and empathy

• Confidence in conflict - viewing conflict as an opportunity for growth 

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ANYONE CAN BECOME SECURELY ATTACHED!
A secure attachment style can be cultivated by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and healthy relational behaviors. By recognizing patterns, setting healthy boundaries, and practicing new behaviors, anyone can develop a secure attachment style, regardless of their starting point.